The Black Hole

"Solitude has its advantages, but they seldom counterbalance the loss of Christian communion."– Matthew Henry  

It’s been said that when everything seems to be falling apart, that’s often when God is putting things together the way He wants.

I admit I enjoy solitude. I have never been one who struggled with being alone at home. I have always been able to entertain or busy myself and do not “need” to be in a crowd. In fact, I prefer not to be. I have friends and family who are the total opposite.

What I most enjoy is the quality time I can spend with the Lord, especially on those days when I have nothing on the calendar. But this past year I have noticed moments of what seems to be a black hole, an aloneness completely separate from my typical solitude. I’ve summoned the Lord, and I’ve summoned wise counsel and have found that the “black hole” is indeed a part of our life journey, as well as our faith journey.

I admit, however, these times are not enjoyable. In fact, they are excruciating and painful. You feel scared and lonely, isolated, lost and confused, maybe even a little embarrassed to admit you are in such a place.

I’ve been there. No doubt, you have been there too. Maybe you are there now.

So, what do we do if we find ourselves in the black hole?

Don’t panic.

To be honest, I can quickly shift into "brood mode". Impulsivity tends to travel the path of negativity, quickly turning on myself. With time, experience, and maturity, I’ve learned this is what NOT to do…but I confess I can still fall into this one easily, which may closely accompany the introverted personality. 

But the more I walk with God, the more I come to recognize that everything serves a purpose, even the black holes. Nothing is without reason and oftentimes, the black hole is a time of preparation for a new season in our lives.

Consider Joseph

Consider how Joseph must have felt as he sat on the cold floor of that empty well into which his brothers had thrown him before they decided to pull him out and sell him to Midianite merchants. (Gen 37:24, 28) It had to have been excruciating for him, feeling totally dejected and abandoned by those he loved and trusted.

Talk about feeling wounded and frightened, neglected and abandoned, confused and isolated, maybe a little embarrassed, and perhaps even mad at himself for being so arrogant as to share his seemingly haughty dreams with his brothers.

If Joseph could have known the full picture of what lay ahead for him, he would not have believed it as he sat in the cold, damp, darkness. Joseph was stuck in a pit of nothingness, helpless in his situation. All he could do was believe, pray, and wait.

Like Joseph, being in that place of nothingness feels helpless. You begin to question yourself. The enemy creeps in to try to convince you that God has abandoned you and that you are no longer useful to Him. You even have thoughts of selling out to the first itinerant opportunity that comes along.

Like Joseph, we must continue to believe, to pray, and to wait on God and His perfect timing.

The black hole should lead us swiftly to the throne of grace. It is a time of intense spiritual reflection, carefully examining all areas of our lives.

How is my prayer life? Am I spending ample time in the Word? Is there sin in my life that needs to be dealt with? Am I holding onto something that is hindering my prayers? Or could it even possibly be a physical condition that needs medical attention?

I’m continuing to learn that I cannot trust my feelings. This is very difficult for a “feeler” like me. I equate “feeling nothing” with abandonment or disapproval, but the Word of God tells us we are to “walk by faith and not by sight”. (2 Cor. 5:7) Feelings come and go, but God is always with us.

In the black hole, I find it especially difficult to focus on prayer, on reading, or engaging in worship. Pray anyway. Read anyway. Sing anyway. Worship anyway. And sometimes, we just need to be still and listen. If you write, try journaling your experience. I do this often. You’ll smile when you come back to it later.

Consider as well that at times God may need to set us apart for a season, in order to prepare us for something we are yet to know fully. It is a time of refining in which God coordinates His plans and purposes for us as well as those we may influence. (Again, remember the story of Joseph. Read Gen. 37 through Gen. 50) He will reveal them to us as we are able.

We can learn much in the black hole. We, with Paul, can “consider it all joy” while praising God for what He is doing in our lives. (James 1:2) In time, we come to recognize how God in His infinite wisdom knows us better than we know ourselves, for we now understand the necessity of that dark season, as God brings us up out of the black hole to do the work to which He has called us.

 “So let us fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Cor. 4:18)

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5b).

Blessings in Christ, 

Shari 

Performance Police

 

I am so thankful for our highway patrol, and for the safety in which they so dutifully work to ensure on our highways. However, as I traveled home from a neighboring city recently, minding my own business and rockin’ out to Praise and Worship music, I noticed in my rear-view mirror what appeared to be a highway patrol unit closing in more rapidly than at normal speed, but without flashing lights. 

My speed was set on 65 . . . okay, 66. I knew my tag was in date. I had not run any red lights, crossed any lines, nor had I cut anyone off in traffic. Yet, he followed so closely for several miles and I guessed he might have been running my tag; for what reason, I did not know. Therefore, I waited to see what would happen, but was—in the meantime—more nervous than usual, (why is that) making my journey home much less enjoyable than I usually find it to be.

"Oh, For Grace to Love You More"

Several years ago, in my early studies of everything having to do with God, I came across this beautiful prayer in the back of a study course about developing our intimacy with God through worship. Before computers, I kept a handwritten copy in my Bible for years, and then eventually created a computer copy which is now saved to my files. I pull it up often to read through it again.  I memorized it once, but have since forgotten it. It is worthy of memorizing again.

Good Morning, Lord!

Good morning, Lord!

I awoke early this morning with You on my mind. I don’t really need anything; just thinking about You and how much I love you.

Oh, there are plenty of things I’m sure I could bring to Your attention this morning, but there is time for that later. Right now, I just want to praise You.

I want to thank you first Father just for Your faithfulness, for Your goodness and mercy and Your ceaseless loving-kindness. Your compassion, Lord, never fails. (Lam. 3:22, 23) Thank you Lord, for Your shed blood which enables me now to come boldly before Your throne of grace, not only to seek help in my time of need, but just to praise You, for You are God and worthy of all my praise. (Heb. 4:16)

You are God of all creation, maker of heaven and earth. (Gen. 1:1) The whole earth is Yours, Lord, and everything in it. (Ps. 89:11) Great is Your faithfulness. You spun the world into existence with a single spoken word and yet knit me in my mother’s womb. (Ps. 139:13) You created me for a divine purpose. You have given me life, both physically and spiritually, and I will ever praise You, for You are worthy of all my praise. (Rev. 4:11)

Thank you Lord for Your salvation that delivered me from a world of darkness and transferred me into the realm of Your everlasting light. (Col 1:13) Thank you as well for Your grace that continues to deliver me from temptation, reminding me of Your righteousness and holiness, mindful always of Your divine call. (Ps. 91:14) You are holy God, and worth of all glory, honor, and praise.

I praise You Lord for both the visible and invisible in my life right now. (Col. 1:16) You are Wisdom and I trust in Your sovereign hand. (Job 12:13) Though I may not fully understand what my eyes may see, I know that when You are with me, You will guide and protect, because Your plans for me are to prosper me and keep me, plans for a future of hope. (Jer. 29:11)

Remind me throughout the day of those times I just need to stop again and give You praise. Your Word says that You inhabit the praise of Your people (Ps. 22:3). I desire for my heart and my home to be a place for Your glory to dwell, Lord, for You are worthy, Lord, so worthy! (Ps. 132:14)

Thank you for guarding my going out and my coming in today and forever. (Ps. 121:8) Praise and glory be to You now and forever. (Eph. 3:21)

Amen.

Psalm 23 Prayer

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me; bless His holy, holy name. (Ps. 103:1)

Thank you that You are my Shepherd and I need not be concerned or in want for anything. (Ps. 23:1)

Thank you for causing me to lie down in the healing and soothing pastures of time spent with You and You alone. You know when I need the time away more than I do, and I thank you for Your attention to my needs and not my wants. (Ps. 23:2)

Thank you for the refreshment provided by the quiet waters flowing from Your Word. You are the Living Water in whom I am strengthened and refreshed when my soul becomes parched from an abundance of activities, ignoring my need for Your refreshment. (Ps. 23:3) 

Thank you, Divine Shepherd, for directing my steps toward righteousness, for Your name’s sake, and not my own. It’s not about me, Lord, but about You. (Ps. 23:3) 

Thank you, Lord, that I need not fear any evil in the valley of shadowy doubts and fears, knowing Lord, that You have not left me to venture through it alone. (Ps. 23:4) 

Thank you for Your rod of correction to direct me when I veer off Your path of righteousness, and for Your staff to lift me out of the ditch into which I may fall in those times I was so engrossed in feeding my flesh, I took my eyes off of You. Your word tells me You reprove whom You love (Prov. 3:12), and there is much comfort in that. (Ps. 23:4) 

Thank you that I may feast on the truth of Your Word, feeding my spirit on Your goodness and abundance. Thank you for preparing the table before me, amid those who do not fully understand the blessedness of Your grace and mercy, as well as in the presence of my enemy who is a defeated foe. (Ps. 23:5, Eph. 4:8) 

You have anointed me with Your goodness and abundance not only for my needs, but for my delight as well. You pour over my head the oil of gladness, the oil of Your Spirit, and the oil of Your grace. My cup surely overflows from Your abundant grace, love, favor, and mercy of God in Christ, which is from everlasting to everlasting. (Ps. 23:5, 6) 

All blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. Amen. (Rev. 7:12) 

Blessed Be My Rock

January 9, 2011

Holy God and loving Father, 

Thank you that You set my feet upon the solid rock of Jesus Christ, making my footsteps firm. You put a new song in my mouth, a song of perpetual praise to You. (Ps. 40:2, Ps. 40:3)

I know I am blessed because my trust and my hope are in You. I will not place my trust or hope in another, nor turn and look to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood and rebellion. (Ps. 40:4)

I have witnessed many of Your wonders in my life and all around me. I love that Your thoughts are toward me. (Ps. 40:5) I love that You think about and consider me. I know You will not withhold Your compassion from me, even though I feel I do not deserve it. (Ps.40:11)

My heart’s desire, O God, is to do Your will. Your Word is hidden in my heart, that I may not sin against You. (Ps. 119:11) I will not keep silent of Your great love and mercy. I will make known of Your wonders at every opportunity. I will tell of Your faithfulness and of Your salvation. (Ps. 40:9)

Your lovingkindness preserves me when I am pressed and overcome with the thoughts of my iniquities that cloud my mind so much that I cannot see You in the midst. But You, God, lift me out of the fog of my iniquities and set my feet on higher ground. (Ps. 40:11, Ps. 40:12)

Because I am dressed in Your righteousness alone, O God, I may stand boldly before Your throne holy, blameless and beyond reproach. (Col. 1: 22) On Christ, the Solid Rock, I stand—all other ground has proven to be sinking sand.

The Lord lives, and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted. (Ps. 18:46)

Amen. 

Walking in His Power ( A Prayer)

Holy God, I thank you for the power of Your Holy Spirit available to me that I may walk in Your strength to go as a witness to others in my family and in my community, and even to the remotest parts of the area of Your leading, in which I never imagined myself going. (Acts 1:8) 

Thank you Father that You give Your angels charge concerning me (Ps. 91:11) as You send me forth into those areas, realizing too God that the enemy prowls about to seek those who are doing Your will, (1 Peter 5:8) attempting to devour them before they accomplish what You have set into motion. I am fully confident Father that You will accomplish what You desire (Is. 55:11) and are watching over Your word to perform it. (Jer. 1:12)

I know that the enemy is a crushed and defeated foe, (Eph. 4:8) (Matt. 10:1) and I walk in Your power, Your victory, (1 Cor. 15:57) in the light of Your glory, and in the infusion and the fullness of Your Spirit which enables me to do the work to which You’ve called me. Bless You God. Glory to You, God, to  Jesus Christ, whose precious blood covers me with salvation (Heb. 9:12), and to the Holy Spirit from whom I may walk in righteousness, peace and joy (Romans 14:17). All power in heaven and earth are Yours, Lord. 

Glory to Your name!  Hallelujah to the Lamb of God. Hallelujah to our King!

Remember Me

I often keep praise and worship music going throughout my day, many times through Christian radio. Mark Schultz is one of my favorites and has composed some of the most beautiful, emotionally moving, and worshipful music of the past decade. One of his songs, Remember Me, debuted around the year 2000 and continues to move me still today.

During the peak of the song's debut, our eighth grade daughter was a young vocalist and our middle son, a junior, was a vocalist and guitarist. They often sang and played for church, school services or programs. In 2001, the senior class asked if they would do an arrangement for high school graduation. One senior, a good friend of our son as well as an accomplished pianist, chose to do an arrangement together with our son and daughter using Schultz’s popular song, Remember Me.

It was a beautiful rendition given that night, but what made it even more beautiful was the fact that I knew it may very well be the last time I would hear my children sing together. I was on the organ transplant list. I could feel my body growing weaker, and knew if I did not receive a transplant soon, my days were very few. It was early May, and unknown to me at that time, I had less than three months to live without a transplant.

As I listened that night, I tried to soak in every note, every beat, even every breath they inhaled. I tried to listen more keenly than I had before, that it might saturate every fiber of my being. I was so proud of the both of them, but they had no idea how much it meant to me.

"Remember Me...when you’re old enough to teach, old enough to preach, old enough to lead…"

So precious is our God, for He remembered me in my distress of illness and gave me much longer than the three presumed months through a perfectly timed organ transplant. He remembered my prayers for the faith of my children, who are now old enough to teach and to preach and have left to begin their own lives, leading their own children in the Lord. 

The song ends with: "Child of wonder, child of God, I’ll remember you— remember Me."

He remembered me. He remembers you.

The question is, “Do we remember Him as often as we want Him to remember us?”

If the only time we “remember Him” is in the middle of a crisis, then it is time to adjust our priorities. The Bible says that all creation testifies to His glory—the trees of the fields clap their hands (Isaiah 55:12) and even the rocks cry out (Luke 19:40). Do trees and rocks outdo us in glorifying our God?

Remember Him when you “sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up”. (Deut. 11:19) Remember Him at work and at play or in your idle time. Remember Him in your joys as well as your sorrows, your victories as well as your losses, your successes as well as your failures. Remember Him.

There are moments in my quiet time when I’ve been so lost in the Word and in worship that I find myself in place similar to the night I heard our kids perform that beautiful song. I want to soak in every God-breathed word, every beat of His heartfelt love letter to me, and every breath that God inhales as I worship Him, praising His holy name (Eph. 5:2), and exhales through His Holy Spirit into my spirit. (Job 33:4)

God remembers you. (Gen. 8:1) 

Remember Him.