Is your perception of me merely a reflection of you?

“They think you are stuck up.”  

The words of a friend cut through me like a searing knife. 

“They said you snubbed them when you walked by.” 

She was talking about a group of girls from the opposing team we were playing at a high school basketball game in 1976. I walked by the group while on my way to the concession stand. The thing was—I didn’t snub them. I was actually completely intimidated by them, so I kept my eyes on the path directly in front of me, trying my best not to trip over my fear.

Our perceptions of others, we learn, are not always reality. Perceptions can be biased, often skewed by factors such as our background, culture, past experiences, misinformation, attitudes and even emotions, and are often the very reflection of our own messed-up selves.

"We see the world, not as it is, but as we are." -- Talmud

My relationship with Christ?

"My relationship with Christ? 
Wha-ya-mean? 

~~♥~~

“Tell me about your relationship with Christ?” 

My "relationship" with Christ?  swish . . . swish . . . swish . . . swish . . . 

I could hear my heart beat in my ears.  

The words caught me off guard as the unsuspecting woman seated next to me innocently prodded my empty soul. My failed attempt that afternoon in 1983 at a Christian Women's event haunted me for years to come, as I stumbled through carefully chosen words and actions.

• I've known about Him since I was a child
• Gone to church "most" of my life (when my parents took me) 
• Currently looking for a church (straight up lie) 
• God is good! --- Nod and smile --- He's so good! --- Nod and smile!!  

God's word in Ecclesiastes tells us "There is a time to speak and a time to be silent". (Eccl. 3:7) This is one of those times I should have remained silent and didn't; but then again, I wouldn't have had this story to write today, would I?

From Darkness to Light

(Dream in November 1988)


This dream is found in My Testimony, but here I give a little more detail surrounding the circumstances, setting the stage for the most powerful dream I’ve ever had. Among all the dreams God has given me, this one by far stands out from the rest. I think you will see why. 

I shared a story with someone just recently about this period in my life from what I consider to be of my darkest days, yet also consider as the most precious days of my life because they led me to Christ. I had been in a period of rebellion, and though I had grown up in the church, I had only the “head knowledge” of God and lacked any real relationship. I even sensed His constant presence, even in times of rebellion, but I only wanted Him on my terms, not His.

Unhappy, unfulfilled, and discontent with my life, I sought out the things of this world to bring me peace, satisfaction, and happiness. Alas, they did—for a short time anyway—only a short time. Then came the day when everything changed, and the light in my soul burned out.