Lover of My Soul

I have another Lover in my life…

Now that I have your attention, let me explain.  

I wish I could say that I have had the storybook, romance novel marriage since the moment we said, “I do”. As I’ve shared in previous posts, the spiritual foundation on which we began our marriage was indeed a sandy one. My husband had scarcely stepped foot inside a church building outside of our wedding day, and though I had been raised in the church, my life surely did not reflect any signs of true Christianity. 

Therefore, as things began to deteriorate in our marriage within only a few years, we had nothing on which to stand for stability.  Our only guidelines were our feelings--anger, sadness, fear, and bitterness, resentment. A friend of mine suggested marital counseling, giving me the number of one she and her husband used. I called the counselor and set up the first appointment for myself—alone. 

I entered his office to find two chairs placed about three feet apart, directly opposite the other. He politely seated me in one, and with yellow legal pad in hand, took his seat in the other. After the customary exchange of pleasantries, he began his routine, but not before throwing out this odd disclaimer: 

“I am extremely attracted to you, but I am not going to allow that to distract me from counseling you.” 

Okay, what am I supposed to do with that? 

I came seeking counsel in bringing order to my chaotic marriage and emotions and he heaps on a layer of worldly lust. I reasoned within my confused mind that this man was a “professional” and “knows what he is doing”. I was 21, so young, so naïve; still so ignorant, not only of the ways of the world, but more so of the way of godliness. Even as a claimed “believer”, I had zero spiritual or biblical knowledge.  (Hos. 4:6)

I left that counseling session even more confused than when I walked in, for the counsel he gave me in strengthening my marriage was this: 

“Sometimes, a “third party” can actually enhance the relationship of a marriage. It brings a new level of ‘excitement’ into the marriage”.  (Prov. 14:12)

What? "Excitement?" Are you kidding me? Could it possibly be that this recommendation was directly tied to his introductory disclaimer? Was he paving the way to be the third party? 

I didn’t return for the next session. 

Jesus Christ desires to be a part of our marriage. Actually, He desires to be the foundation. It took over ten years for me to figure that out. And although most of those years left me alone in my spiritual pursuit, Christ became my Husband in whom I confided, in whom I sought counsel, solace, and comfort, and at times, sought His embrace while I cried. True fulfillment was realized when He became my heart’s desire, for He is the true Lover of my soul and yours (Ps. 42:1).

God has faithfully and tenderly restored our marriage, one layer at a time, exchanging the foundation of sand for the solid rock of Jesus Christ. (Zech. 9:12) He is before all things and in Him all things hold together--even our marriage. (Col. 1:17)  I’m excited at what I see God doing in and through my husband. With our children now grown and gone, my husband and I have had the time to concentrate on “us”, as we enjoy the company of one another more than ever before.

God's Word in Nehemiah says, "if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though it appeared  [your marriage] was scattered to the wind... I will...bring you back to the place where I have chosen to cause My name to dwell." (Neh. 1:9) (paraphrased)

God can and will restore what the locusts of abandonment, lust, adultery, abuse, addiction, etc. have destroyed in your marriage. He will bring you and your marriage back to the place of HIS choosing--to the place where His name will dwell. He is able to turn your heart back to your husband and his heart back to you.

The counselor was right. A "third party" can indeed enhance your marriage, but only if the third party happens to be Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ continues to enhance our marriage in ways I never thought possible. We've now been married 35 years, praise God! We are learning to communicate more and point fingers less, and be obedient to His counsel, (Neh. 1:9) but God is ever patient, loving, and kind—the Master of reconciliation--restoring nations, one marriage at a time.

“In that day I will restore the fallen house of David.
      I will repair its damaged walls.
   From the ruins I will rebuild it
      and restore its former glory. 

Amos 9:11

Praise be to God the Father, and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit! 

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, 
may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. 

"And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against 
that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. 

"Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, 

will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand." ~ Jesus   
(Matt. 7:24, 25,26)