Is your perception of me merely a reflection of you?

“They think you are stuck up.”  

The words of a friend cut through me like a searing knife. 

“They said you snubbed them when you walked by.” 

She was talking about a group of girls from the opposing team we were playing at a high school basketball game in 1976. I walked by the group while on my way to the concession stand. The thing was—I didn’t snub them. I was actually completely intimidated by them, so I kept my eyes on the path directly in front of me, trying my best not to trip over my fear.

Our perceptions of others, we learn, are not always reality. Perceptions can be biased, often skewed by factors such as our background, culture, past experiences, misinformation, attitudes and even emotions, and are often the very reflection of our own messed-up selves.

"We see the world, not as it is, but as we are." -- Talmud

What do our lives and popcorn have in common?

One evening several years ago, as I fixed popcorn on the stove for my kids (the old fashioned way), an inadvertent blunder became fodder for an object lesson I used years later as a friend and I led our church's junior high and high school youth group.  

We had been discussing personal and spiritual "boundaries" in the group, so I decided to reach back into my kitchen from years before for my popcorn mishap to demonstrate the chaos of a life without boundaries. Ushering all the students into the church kitchen, I pulled out a large pot, added oil and a scoop of popcorn kernels. After turning up the heat, I began visiting with the kids, making sure all were out of reach of any splattering hot oil. This time, I intentionally left the lid off the pot.

Lover of My Soul

I have another Lover in my life…

Now that I have your attention, let me explain.  

I wish I could say that I have had the storybook, romance novel marriage since the moment we said, “I do”. As I’ve shared in previous posts, the spiritual foundation on which we began our marriage was indeed a sandy one. My husband had scarcely stepped foot inside a church building outside of our wedding day, and though I had been raised in the church, my life surely did not reflect any signs of true Christianity. 

Therefore, as things began to deteriorate in our marriage within only a few years, we had nothing on which to stand for stability.  Our only guidelines were our feelings--anger, sadness, fear, and bitterness, resentment. A friend of mine suggested marital counseling, giving me the number of one she and her husband used. I called the counselor and set up the first appointment for myself—alone. 

I entered his office to find two chairs placed about three feet apart, directly opposite the other. He politely seated me in one, and with yellow legal pad in hand, took his seat in the other. After the customary exchange of pleasantries, he began his routine, but not before throwing out this odd disclaimer: 

“I am extremely attracted to you, but I am not going to allow that to distract me from counseling you.” 

Okay, what am I supposed to do with that? 

My relationship with Christ?

"My relationship with Christ? 
Wha-ya-mean? 

~~♥~~

“Tell me about your relationship with Christ?” 

My "relationship" with Christ?  swish . . . swish . . . swish . . . swish . . . 

I could hear my heart beat in my ears.  

The words caught me off guard as the unsuspecting woman seated next to me innocently prodded my empty soul. My failed attempt that afternoon in 1983 at a Christian Women's event haunted me for years to come, as I stumbled through carefully chosen words and actions.

• I've known about Him since I was a child
• Gone to church "most" of my life (when my parents took me) 
• Currently looking for a church (straight up lie) 
• God is good! --- Nod and smile --- He's so good! --- Nod and smile!!  

God's word in Ecclesiastes tells us "There is a time to speak and a time to be silent". (Eccl. 3:7) This is one of those times I should have remained silent and didn't; but then again, I wouldn't have had this story to write today, would I?

The Way of Providence

“Walk around the side of the house", my daughter said, "through the gate, to the patio on the back side of the house. Open the grill cover, and there you will find the garage door opener to get into the house."

They were good instructions with explicit directions. I was confident I would have no trouble gaining entrance into their house. The problem was that I found the door opener, not under the grill cover, but rather on the concrete pad UNDER the grill. The opener was not located exactly as she had said; nevertheless, I did eventually get into the house. 

Letter to My Frenemies . . .

“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.”

John 15:18

Several years ago, I was given the opportunity by a dear friend and sister-in-Christ to write a faith column in her newspaper. I so enjoyed this and it became a weekly entry which challenged me to come up with something fresh each week. Receiving complimentary remarks and support from several readers, whether on the street, through cards and letters, or through email, I chalked it up to the blessing of living in the Bible Belt.

Don't Settle for Walking Trees

Mark 8:22-25

²²And they came to Bethsaida. And some people brought to Him a blind man and begged Him to touch him.

²³ And He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when He had spit on his eyes and laid His hands on him, He asked him, “Do you see anything?”

²⁴ And he looked up and said, “I see people, but they look like trees, walking.”

²⁵ Then Jesus laid His hands on his eyes again; and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.”

"Oh, For Grace to Love You More"

Several years ago, in my early studies of everything having to do with God, I came across this beautiful prayer in the back of a study course about developing our intimacy with God through worship. Before computers, I kept a handwritten copy in my Bible for years, and then eventually created a computer copy which is now saved to my files. I pull it up often to read through it again.  I memorized it once, but have since forgotten it. It is worthy of memorizing again.

All Things for Your Sakes

“For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.” (2 Cor. 4:15)

When my children were young, I remember wanting to protect them of any harm that may come to them. And that was easy… until they learned to crawl! 

Then reality slapped me in the face and I realized that even with my best efforts, I could not shield them from everything.